The Power of the Pause
When I was in my mid-twenties, I was the director of marketing & PR for a small hospital system in the midwest. Despite being smart and having solid experience, I was ill-prepared for the stress of being bombarded by competing requests from departments, administration, physicians, and the media. I learned a lot from my years in this role, but nothing I learned is more important than the power of pausing.
It sounds counterintuitive at first: in a high-stress, fast-paced environment, isn’t it best to respond quickly? Well, yes and no. Within a year or so of working in healthcare, I learned that my colleagues, whose work truly did affect the quality of human life, operated in an atmosphere of heightened stress. Their guiding impulse was to act first: if they thought of an idea, they shot me an email; if they didn’t understand something, they told me in blunt terms; when they wanted something to happen, they expected it ASAP. As a young professional with a commitment to responsiveness and collaboration, I let them set the tone and timing of our interactions, and I found myself full of anxiety, juggling rapidly shifting priorities, and realizing that they changed their minds as rapidly as they made them up the first time. This is not their fault; in fact, it’s what makes them good at their jobs. However, that kind of response does not make for a good communicator, nor were they really expecting that I would respond in kind (well, usually they weren’t . . . there were a few really impatient cardiologists, though).
After a few times when I was literally too busy shooting commercials inside the facility or away at a conference to be immediately responsive, I noticed that given a few hours or a couple of days on these non-emergency requests that were lobbed my way, taking a pause sometimes had the effect of the problem solving itself: colleagues would reconsider the wisdom of their first request, or would remember a past discussion we’d had on the topic. More often, a slight pause gave me the time I needed to think through their request and suggest solutions that were the best fit, instead of having a knee-jerk reaction aimed to please. The pause was miraculous.
As I matured, I learned to judiciously apply the pause in not only decision-making but also in responding to conflict. Understand — I’m not talking about ignoring messages or letting emails go unanswered for days on end. In fact, if you’re pausing, you can even reply immediately and let the sender know you’re going to give this a little consideration and give them a time frame for getting back to them. That way, you’re both being responsive and taking a responsible pause in order to serve them, the organization, and your established strategy the best.
I know this sounds elementary. If you’re already a seasoned professional, you may have been employing the pause for years. Likewise, if you’re a naturally confident, wise person, the pause I’m describing may sound quite basic Good for you if it is! The fact is, though, a lot of young or inexperienced professionals can get caught up in the anxiety-inducing loop of a stressful work environment and forget this fundamental skill. Our brains are wired from years of evolution to make quick decisions when we feel imperiled. Our “fight or flight” response kicks in when we’re in the workplace and, without consciously opting to pause and let our higher brain functions step in, we can make hasty decisions, say things we don’t mean, and promise things we can’t deliver.
Keep in mind that many of your colleagues and clients are operating under this kind of stress. They’re firing questions, ideas, and directives at you, often using the part of their brain that handles fight or flight (if you’re interested, it’s the amygdala. If you’re really interested, check out this article about brain stress and decision making from The Best Brain Possible). Thankfully, we aren’t fighting saber-toothed tigers for our dinners anymore, but the battles we are fighting at work can have us acting as though our lives are on the line when very rarely is anyone’s life or well-being at stake. I mean, I work in finance, not the emergency department.
Taking a pause is not something we do for self-care (although it can have great benefits for those of us who suffer from anxiety); it is a way for us to sort out the myriad of pressures facing us in order to prioritize and actually employ some mental strategy in order to get the best results.
